This week's video is about the very important skill of dealing with disappointment, sadness, or being emotionally dysregulated.
I have to admit, for the last few days I've been dealing with my deep disappointment with the Supreme Court nomination process. I won't go into details here, that's not what this Vlog is about.
Instead, I wanted to talk about sadness, disappointment, and failure. How do you deal with things when they don't go your way? How do you get comfortable with being uncomfortable?
One of the most important executive functions we have is being able to regulate our emotions. This doesn't mean that we don't feel our feelings, in fact, it means that we take time to be present with our feelings, to process them and learn to cope with them.
Many of us try to avoid feeling sad, and we try to keep busy, entertained, or pick up unhealthy habits like smoking or drinking to mask our feelings. Some of us allow our emotions to steer our actions, causing us to act hostile or aggressive with those around us.
Having a mindful process of dealing with our emotions is important to developing emotional regulation and avoiding actions we may regret in the future. Simply recognizing when you are upset and taking a moment to get curious about it creates a conscious space between you and your emotions-- allowing you to think before you take your next step.
Parents, when you practice this consistently over time, model this super critical skill to your child. This is the most important way to help your child develop their own self-awareness and self-regulation skills (AKA Executive Functions).
I'll leave you with these important questions to consider:
1.What do you do to take care of yourself when you're feeling emotionally dysregulated?
2. How do you help your child frame the events going on in the news?
3. What type of self-care habits are you modeling for your child?
4. Are you comfortable having uncomfortable conversations with your child?