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7 Ways to Stay CALM in ANY Situation [VLOG]


You can't have an effective conversation with your child if you are unable to remain emotionally centered. Modeling emotional self-regulation to your child is the most important non-verbal communication technique you can use to mold their behavior and help them to self-regulate.

Video #3 of our Communication Guide teaches you seven (7) ways to keep your cool in any situation, so that you can avoid the power-struggles, arguing, whining and tears.

I've taken some notes for you below so you can review the concepts in this video at a glance:

VIDEO GUIDE: How to Stay CALM in ANY Situation (Parents)

#1 GET CURIOUS

Where in your body do you feel your emotion?

  • Is your jaw clenched?

  • Is your neck stiff?

  • Is your heart racing?

  • Are you sweaty?

  • Is your body tense?

  • Does your stomach hurt?

#2 USE SELF TALK

Choose one or two statements to repeat to yourself in a tense moment (or create your own):

  • What is she/he really telling me right now?

  • What feeling is behind this emotion?

  • I'm not a bad parent, I'm having normal feelings.

  • It's my job to stay calm and be the bigger person.

  • To her/him this is a big deal, it feels like the end of the world.

#3 VISUALIZE FEELINGS AS WAVES

Close your eyes and visualize that your emotion is an ocean wave crashing over you.

  • Inhale deeply and hold your breath as it crashes and exhale.

  • Repeat this as your visualize the waves getting smaller and smaller.

  • You'll ride out the peak of your emotion and start to calm down.

  • Repeat for 90 Seconds to get through even the most stubborn emotion.

#4 EXCUSE YOURSELF

If you just can't get a handle on your emotions, remove yourself by stating...

  • "I need to take space for a few seconds, I'll be right back. I need a calm-down moment."

  • Then take a moment to take a break and meet your needs.

  • There is no shame in feeling angry, frustrated, annoyed, or disappointed. These are normal feelings that come with parenting, and sometimes you just need a few minutes to collect yourself.

  • Come back to the conversation as soon as you can if it still needs resolving.

  • This is a great skill to model to your child and they will eventually follow your lead if you practice this consistently.

#5 TALK TO SOMEONE

Find someone who can help you emotionally regulate yourself. Whether it's your therapist, a good friend, a supportive family-member...etc. Having a reliable support network will help you to gain strength, clarity, and support when you're burned out or feeling like giving up.

#6 TAKE CARE OF YOUR OWN NEEDS

Find a few minutes every day to take care of your needs:

  • Sleep a few extra minutes a night

  • Make healthier food choices

  • Exercise

  • Add some fun and joy into your routine

#7 PRACTICE MINDFULNESS

Be present with your kids. When you feel yourself wandering, simply bring your attention back to the present moment.

  • Get down to their eye-level

  • Practice eye contact

  • Create a NO JUDGEMENT ZONE

  • Think through your actions

  • Act with intent (to solve the problem and help your child grow and co-regulate with you)

  • Do not act on hope & fear, act from understanding and love

Check out Video #1 of this guide here: What is the MIRRORING TECHNIQUE?

Check out Video #2 of this guide here: Responding vs Reacting to ADHD/ODD (4-Steps)