Check out the six core needs below, and keep reading to learn how you can meet all of your child's needs following a few mindful principles that help you parent more intentionally and compassionately.
Certainty - Safety, stability, security, comfort, order, predictability, control, sense of consistency.
Uncertainty/Variety - Surprise, challenge, excitement, difference, chaos, adventure, change.
Significance - Meaning, pride, self-importance. Feeling wanted, needed, special, worthy of love.
Love and Connection - Communication, unification, approval, attachment. Feeling connected with and intimately loved.
Growth - Constant, emotional, intellectual, spiritual development.
Contribution - Need to give beyond ourselves, protect, care for, and be of service to others.
What's behind your child's dysfunctional, defiant, and disrespectful behavior?
If your child is acting out, being defiant, dishonest, disrespectful, inconsiderate, avoidant, unaffectionate, or distant, just remember -- what you're seeing is the tip of the emotional iceberg.
(Here's a diagram)
So, instead of focusing what what you can see, get curious about what's beneath the surface.
Focus all your intentions and actions on creating a safe space for your child to express themselves free from judgement, fear, and shame.
Then, observe your child's actions from a neutral perspective. Better yet, observe them like a scientist, or a comedian, or like a poet. However you do it, start making lots of eye contact, listening -- really listening -- and start getting to know what's going on beneath the surface.
Here are nine MindFull Principles to help you navigate any parenting dilemma while modeling self-regulation (AKA executive functioning) to your child.
#1 Stop and think
#2 Act on your values, not emotions
#3 Don't rely on your memory
#4 Expect the unexpected
#5 Don't wait until you feel like it
#6 Create happy spaces
#7 Design your day
#8 Chase your fears
#9 Play, have fun
Let me know how these principles apply to YOU, and how you will apply them throughout your day to transform your relationship with your child. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.