This week's Vlog is about a simple (but not always easy) two-step process for active listening and emotional attunement.
I recorded this video on the same day that I met with a mother and daughter who were stuck in a vicious cycle of talking AT each-other instead of listening to one another.
It was like a tennis match...going back and forth...each in a breathless attempt to convince the other that their point of view was right.
Mom felt disrespected, and daughter felt powerless.
Their conversations had gotten so triggering that almost each interaction ended up in an argument or a cold shoulder. Neither of them felt heard, understood, or acknowledged.
That's when I introduced mom to this technique.
Within minutes, with tears in her eyes, breathing a big sigh of relief, the teen smiled as her mom actively listened and validated her daughter's emotions.
"YES! You finally GET me," she said.
Nothing had changed, and yet everything was different. Why? Because for the first time in a long while, this teen felt heard, seen, and understood by her mom.
In turn, she was open to hearing her mom's concerns and willing to work together to come up with collaborative solutions to their recurring problems.
Leave a comment to start a discussion, or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org to leave your feedback or request a topic for a future video.
All my best,
P.S. Here's a BONUS video I recorded just for your kids about a 3-step system for communicating with YOU!