My mind is still chewing on all the bites of wisdom I've taken from TEFOS - The Executive Function Online Summit - hosted by Seth Perler.
The live event is over, but you can still get an all-access pass to the interviews and bonus content. This is an incredibly high-value resource packed with actionable advice from leading experts in the field of Executive Function.
I wanted to share some powerful take-aways from Dr. Joseph Lee, who talked about how kids think and discern what is true. And how parents can guide their kid's thinking to be more flexible and accurate.
Dr. Lee shared that we (humans) rarely use our logic and reasoning skills to form our beliefs about ourselves and the world. Even though most of us think we're being rational most of the time.
Instead, the way we think is most influenced by our personal experiences, and through relationships with people we trust.
Furthermore, our brains use logic and reason to find evidence that confirms our beliefs. Even if our beliefs aren't based in reality - due to logical fallacies, biases, or distorted thinking.
The irony of that is, we do this automatically, without even thinking about it.
I appreciated when Dr. Lee stressed that there's nothing wrong with this. It's just the way we're wired. That means, if we want to help kids to think more realistically and flexibly, we cannot rely on using logic and reasoning to change their minds.
Which makes sense because "winning" an argument with your kid or lecturing them about what they "should be doing" is never an effective strategy anyway.
Instead, we can help kids who are stuck by guiding their natural curiosity and trusting their innate ability to think for themselves. And you don't need a PhD to do this!
Through compassion, curiosity, and patience, you can leverage your relationship with your child, and help them to broaden their experiences. And this stuff works - sometimes surprisingly well! As long as you keep trying, you are leading by example.
Get your all-access pass so you can watch Dr. Lee's talk and hear more specific ways that you can put this into action starting today. Trust me, it will be well worth your time.
P.S. Here are my visual notes from their conversation.